Hi, I'm Sarah
My Core Values
Accessibility: Financial obstacles will never be the reason that people who want to work with me aren't able to.
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Empowerment: We start off as victims, but we don’t have to stay there.
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Empathy: I stive to always meet my clients where they are.
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Relatable/Relational: “I see you.”
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Evolving: My life-long learning mentality transfers to the information, tools, and experiences I bring to my work and clients.
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Safety: The foundation of all that I do - as I view experiences from a trauma-informed perspective, the space I provide my clients is based on Phase 1 of the APSATS model: safety and stability.
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Curiosity: In my work I suspend all judgment - the curious why is our door to new self-discovery, and powerful shifts in our lives.
My Approach
​I provide a SECURE base that allows people the SAFETY to explore beyond what they've known.
Deeply relational in my approach to coaching, I bring my sass, love for laughter, and creativity into the work I do. Using integrative, multi-dimensional experiences and tools, I equip people to become experts on themselves.
My lens, unapologetically, is one of GASLIGHTING. I coach people through being able to recognize and step out of range of GASLIGHTING by others. But I don't stop there. Getting curious about how we have internalized GASLIGHTING, I coach people in unbecoming all the things they we never meant to be. I help people discover the core of who they are, and nurture their authentic selves through mastering their authentic power. This is my signature E³ process (aka, my methodology for how I work with my clients):
Your Story is My Story
*TRIGGER WARNING: pornography, sex addiction/sex offender
behavior
January 21, 2011, the FBI showed up at my house...
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It was a typical school day, and I had just taken the kids to
school. I heard our dog, Bella, barking outside and went to see
what was going on. Nothing could have prepared me for
what happened next.​
Like some sort of action-movie playing out before me, I saw
FBI agents, with their bullet-proof vests on and guns drawn,
approaching the door.
"Why is the FBI in our yard?" I asked my (then) husband. I opened the door, and the agent presented me with a search warrant. I can't remember the exact verbiage, but they were searching for "under-age pornography". They separated us, and before I knew what was going on, they had taken my (then) husband away - arrested for possession of under-age pornography.
I'm not sure how much later it was - an hour? Two hours? Three hours later? An FBI agent was interviewing ME - asking ME how much I knew about all the stuff my (then) husband had been up to... implying that I was aware he had issues with pornography. My response, "I don't think you understand who my husband is - he's a pastor. He never would do this. You must have the wrong guy."
I was clueless.
Having been married for 14 years by then, I was beyond devastated; I was scared and lost. Everything I knew to be real I now couldn't trust – NOT EVEN MYSELF! How could this secret world have been happening right under my roof? How did I not know? Why did this happen to me?
My answers began to come when I learned about GASLIGHTING.
I learned that I had been a victim of severe, chronic GASLIGHTING. I knew that in order to heal from the trauma in my marriage, I would have to dive DEEP into understanding everything I could about this thing called GASLIGHTING. This journey took me YEARS.
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To my wonder, healing from trauma ended up being only the beginning. As I dove deeper and deeper, my journey shifted to finding out who I really was. By looking at things from a GASLIGHTING perspective, I was able to see how I had experienced GASLIGHTING since childhood; GASLIGHTING that had caused me to both TAKE ON and become things that WEREN'T me, and SUPPRESS things that WERE me!
I realized I had been living only half-awake.
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As you'll read through the next few sections, this is NOT where my story ended! Through hard work, incredible support, and the love of my mom, dad, and kids - I not only found healing, I found peace, freedom, and joy! The life I now live comes from knowing, loving, and trusting myself.
Listen to me tell my story in season 1 of my podcast here!
Professional Bio:
Today I am an expert and thought leader on the topic of GASLIGHTING. My recognition as such paved the way for me to have a seat on the board of APSATS (the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists), contract with numerous helping professionals, speak at national conferences, and be invited to speak on podcasts, all from the lens of my GASLIGHTING expertise.
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This is the story of how I arrived here…
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(TRIGGER WARNING) In January 2011, the FBI came to my house, and I had my “discovery” of my (then) husband's sexually deviant behavior ("Discovery" is a term often used by people who have experienced betrayal trauma to encapsulate the experience of discovering the betrayal that has occurred - whether that is in the form of illicit affairs, secret pornography use, or a number of other sexually "acting-out" behaviors).
Shortly after, I joined a group led by a therapist/coach named Marsha Means. As I was going through her group, she recognized some gifts in me, and encouraged me to go on to get my certification as a life coach and join her team of coaches helping other women heal. So that is exactly what I did. I got my certification as a life and relationship coach, and started leading women through groups that were going through Marsha’s workbook. As my life was in a lot of transition during that season, I only did this for about a year.
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In July 2012, I moved myself and my two kids to Austin, TX, and I took a year off of helping others so that I could nurture my own healing and focus on my kids. By February of 2013, I was ready for more. I met with a local CSAT named Peter Daniels III, of Therapy Works. I honestly just to ask him a few questions about becoming a therapist. I left that meeting with a job! Peter hired me to create a program for the partners of the sexually addicted men he was providing therapy for. I built a thriving program that included individual coaching, workshops, support groups, and retreats. Several significant things happened during the four years I worked for Peter at Therapy Works:
It was during this time that Peter sent me to a conference where I learned about APSATS. I jumped at the opportunity to receive cutting edge training and certification that would enable me to better serve my clients.
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Peter handed me the book, “The Gaslight Effect” by Dr. Robin Stern to help me prepare for an intensive he wanted me to co-facilitate. Little did he or I know how the course of my life just changed trajectory. I immediately knew this was something VERY important – something life-changing.
Peter believed in me and saw my potential long before I was healed enough to see it for myself. His trust in and belief in me gave me the courage to build, create, deep-dive, and move into the thought-leader that I am today. He challenged me to become the person he knew I already was.
During my tenure with Peter, he started an in-patient treatment program for drug and alcohol addiction, focusing on treatment for vets, people coming out of incarceration, and the homeless. It was in this context I first began working with addicts in recovery (as a coach, teaching life-skills).
By April 2017, I had grown to the point where I knew the next step for me was to start a private coaching practice, and focus on my specialization in GASLIGHTING.
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In 2018, I was approached by Sharon Rinearson of CORE Relationship Recovery. They were building an amazing, international team to conduct specialized intensives, and they wanted me on their team as their “go-to GASLIGHTING expert”. I gratefully accepted, came on board as one of their contractors, and have been there ever since (and I intend to continue working with them for the foreseeable future). Some highlights from my work with CORE are:
The weekly Tuesday night men’s group I have facilitated for the past five years. I have grown to love these men, and they have taught me what sincere, fully-embraced recovery looks like. My work with the addict in recovery has grown exponentially as I have worked with them.
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The three-hour sessions I get to do in their intensives with addicts who are wanting to understand the impact that their GASLIGHTING has had on those they are in relationship with, what “triggers” their GASLIGHTING behaviors, and strategies to stop GASLIGHTING behaviors.
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The three-hour sessions I get to do in their intensives with the partners of addicts who are desperate to learn how to recognize GASLIGHTING when its happening, where & why they are especially vulnerable to their gaslighter, and strategies on how to stop getting sucked in & stay connected to self-trust.
These are the main things that helped my hone my skills, test my information and tools, and establish a proven way to help people heal.
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Ten years ago, I came across the word GASLIGHTING, and since then I have made it my mission to take this complicated, nuanced topic, deconstruct it, and make it understandable and implementable in people's lives.
My decade of studying, continually deconstructing, and coaching both individuals and groups culminated in 2022 with my DECONSTRUCTING GASLIGHTING™ offerings: a free webinar, video course, signature program, and podcast – all aimed at empowering others to better understand and identify GASLIGHTING in their lives and relationships.
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My passion to empower others to transform their lives fuels my work with my clients and pushes me to continue developing new programs on the cutting edge of helping others grow to know, trust, and love themselves more than they knew was possible.
The Significance of My Logo...
A few years ago I took my "Beta" group through my DECONSTRUCTING GASLIGHTING™ EMPOWERMENT Program. It was in taking these women through THEIR journey that I went on one of the most significant journeys of my own life; it was during this journey that I truly realized just how powerful I was, and the magic that I bring to other people's lives. As they were finding themselves again, and awakening to higher selves, I WAS AWAKENING, too. These two symbols have come to represent the dual purpose I show up with in the work that I do, and give a visual representation to what I and my work embodies.
Most importantly, the moon, to me, symbolizes our wholeness - even when we FEEL like we're in a phase of life where things feel dark or hard, WE have not diminished; WE are still whole.
As someone who believes in duality (we are both/and beings), the moon, to me, symbolizes the nurturing, feminine energy that I bring to my work and my clients. It is the "Light-Worker" in me.
The moon embodies the essence of intuition, self-reflection, and growth.
Showing up even in the daytime, it epitomizes contancy.
Most importantly, fire, to me, symbolizes our rebirth - like the Phoenix! When controlled and allowed by us, it destroys the old things that no longer serve us, AND what comes out of those ashes is a purified, more powerful, more aligned version of ourselves.
As someone who believes in duality (we are both/and beings), fire, to me, symbolizes the strong, masculine energy that I bring to my work and my clients. It is the "Matrix-Breaker" in me.
Fire embodies the essence of power, freedom, and passion.
With its dual ability to destroy and create, fire epitomizes transformation.
Fun Facts about Me:
Since I bring so much of myself into my coaching, here's a bit more that you might find helpful or interesting to know about me:
​I grew up in Wisconsin, lived all over northern California from 18-37 years of age, and have called Austin, TX home since 2012.
While I didn't begin professional life coaching until I was 37, my "former life" as a pastor's wife had me in many mentoring and teaching roles that primed me for this profession.
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Sassy Sarah likes to come out and play, when appropriate (okay, and every once in awhile when it's not appropriate).
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I identify as queer, and am married to the love of my life, Melanie. (I'm the lucky one).
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I LOVE music and dancing - nothing can bring me back to joy and empowerment faster.
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While the first third of my life was dominated by conservative Christian ideology, I no longer adhere to that construct. I consider myself a spiritual person on a journey of knowing truth in every facet.
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I'm a Taurus, and a Taurus through and through!
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I'm a Manifesting Generator with sacral authority, and I'm learning all the time how to live from this place energetically.
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I have six tattoos, and have plans for a whole sleeve in the not too distant future.
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I love analogies, and use them all. the. time.
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In 2021 my wife and I remodeled our garage into an in-law sweet for my parents, and last year we built a deck and xeriscaped our yard. I am now a tiler, plumber, electrician, painter... basically I could now do an HGTV show: "Remodel your house and life with Sarah Morales". (LOL. JK. It's going to be a long time before I remodel anything again. LOL)
Hype Songs
